Simply letting it be...

I felt so much "lighter" after I thought about it and just let it be...Now I can finally concentrate on my work...not like I can stop myself from daydreaming though. I'm really wasting my time man. My friends can't complete their homework because they're playing games...but I just simply sit down, walk around without doing anything...Haha...stupid you might say...but that's just me...I loved that feeling of just simply doing nothing but had a lot in my mind...That's why I sometimes enjoy going out alone...just pure walking and looking...But I eventually got bad breath(hmmm, is this how u spell it?) due to my mouth not opening for the whole day...haha. Anyway, school work is piling up and I'm trying to clear them one by one, but everytime I want to clear the old ones, new ones came in and I had to finish them first...thus, the old ones are always left untouched...Come to think of it, I don't really know how blogs work. I only know how to get to one blog by putting in the link and click that greenish looking "GO" button on my internet explorer...haha. But anyway, it's just a place for me to type out everything I'm feeling at that moment and perhaps one day when I look back, I might even think that it's stupid...but it's ok...because everyone has a stupid side...so do I. :P

Thanks.
~Kaze (lots of works to do...=.=")

Today, it ends?

Today, just a few hours ago...It seems like it's ended. I finally know how you feel all along...Didn't expect I'd had the chance to know...coz it's been quite some time since we talked. But after knowing it...I guess it'll be quite long till we talk again. So...the answer was I wasn't your type...Sigh, I guess I knew it all along, I just didn't want to accept that fact. Knowing you for that amount of time, listening to what you said all the time, I guess I should've knew I wasn't your type. Sigh, at least now I know the answer and am glad you've finally got over that guy. Really hope you will find your special one soon since you wanted it so much now...Yes, I'm sad, really sad...perhaps the saddest day I've had since I first told you I like you. It's painful and it hurts so much...but I know I'll get over it one day...just like you did with him. Hope we're still friends and can talk like before. If I were to choose now, I wouldn't have told you...perhaps it's sweeter that way, just secretly liking you. But I didn't regret telling you either, if you were to ask me. I guess it's the end of my confusion but well, it isn't the end of the world. I'll just concentrate on my work for now...perhaps it's the best way to forget this...painful feeling...Thanks for giving me this long and sweet moment......I'll never forget it. :|

I'm a saddist...what can I say?

True that I'm a saddist coz I'm starting to lose all my optimistism...I can't help but think of everything in the negative way nowadays. I'm starting to lose hope and also giving up perhaps. I know it's impossible...we haven't talked for who knows, how long...I really do miss you but I'm starting to realise perhaps you don't like me from the very beginning...I really wish you would just msg me anything, like you used to...I'll reply to anything....as I always do, but I know even if you msg me the very minute now, it's just as a friend...and you probably got no one else to talk to...sigh...looking at many people around me, all found their special one...I just feel more sad...perhaps it's envy...But since it's impossible...I should just concentrate on my work right now...those stupid homeworks...which I dun even know how they help...My passion towards graphic design is starting to diminish...I've started school for 4 weeks and I've only learnt a few drawing skills in only one of the lesson every week...This sucks...feel cheated...this school isn't that good afterall...sigh...Went to cut my hair the other day...wanted to look better coz I'm losing confidence on myself...I'm also thinking of making a new pair of spectacles to make me look more lively...went passed that spectacles shop just now, after my classmates went home one by one. I didn't went in. I know it's not necessary. I walked along Orchard road alone for perhaps an hour plus...just looking at buildings and people...and went to HMV to look at some CDs and Action city for some designer products. I just wished that I wasn't alone...just wished that you were beside me...I'm very tired...these few days...so much work...so much thinking...think of you especially...

I'm not good enough...I know, I'll try to be better.........

~Kaze

Give up?

For the past few nights I've been unable to have a good sleep...once again. I kept thinking about things on a neutral point of view. Asking myself is what you said really giving me hope or you're just saying it. I asked myself, if you really do like me, you wouldn't have said this or that. I finally come up with a conclusion...it's just one sided...I thinked too much. I really getting tired...tired of waiting...we haven't been talking for a few days...and I really do miss you...but perhaps it's normal...I think I should stop doing things, trying to create opportunities...or perhaps trying to make myself feel not so "hopeless". I'm really tired...perhaps it's better to let you like me and not make you like me. You could've just rejected me...why did u said dunno but you dun want it now. And the things you said, am i really that not good enough. It really makes me think that it's impossible and want to give up. I think I should...and back to the time before all these happened. Perhaps I would be happier by secretly liking you. My vision suddenly went blurred while I'm typing this...eyes filled with water...a very very sad heart as I'm feeling now. This is the first time I'm feeling like this in my whole life...and it's really painful. I don't know why I'm crying, perhaps my heart has weaken, easily feel sad and scared...I'm weak.........too weak...

Sigh...I'm feeling very tired now...hope I can get a good sleep tonight.........