No Title

Sometimes I wonder what's a blog for? To write something for someone else to view it I assume... Coz that's the only logical explaination why you need to write something on a blog, isn't it? You can keep a diary and write everything inside with no constrain and there's a very small chance anyone else will know what you're writing in there if you hide it well. So I sometimes find it hard to write on blog...coz there're so many things I want to say but can't. I feel so restricted...I want to write down what I'm feeling/thinking all the time, yet I can't really find a proper space for me to do so...And I just simply don't like the idea of writing black and white...that might one day end up in someone else's hands. Keeping everything inside myself has eventually become a habit i guess...but that's also why I'm feeling so damn...tight right now. It feel as though there're ropes around me...and I really want to break it but can't.

Sigh...sometimes I wonder why shld I seperate words into paragraphs? Why there? And aren't they all words? why can't they be together? Why must they be seperated? For easy reading? Well bullshit...why should everything be so easy? Is it a law to break everything up for convenience? Even if it is a law...so what? Why the hell do we follow laws? Because we're afraid, of coz...it's the fear. And so why must there be fear? Because you want everything to go as smoothly as possible...which also means as easy as possible...hey, wait a minute, isn't this a cycle? well people say life is a cycle...perhaps it is the way you treat life that's a cycle...life itself is not a cycle...you can grow old and die, reborn, or how do u even know you can reborn? perhaps you're just being terminated...a brand new life which has nothing to do with you has been born...simple as that. Anyway, Even if you reborn...you can choose the way you want to treat your life...if you choose to study...work...grow old...die...of coz it's a very common cycle I guess...isn't it?

Well what I've said is very personal and based solely on my opinion...and it's very conceptual. But, why can't something be conceptual? Why must everything be so real...? It'll be too boring if that's the case...no designer...no inventors...becoz there's simply noone thinking/imagining things... If you think again...living in your own conceptual world may be even easier than this "easy world" we created...Coz everything will then go according to what you want...basically based on the word "EASY" I guess...

An easy world for difficult people......

Somethings I realised...or shld I say, I knew it all along...

Well when two person are in love, why must we tell each other? At where or when were we taught to do so? It's just a human instinct, u say? It's normal to do so, u say? Well have anyone ever thought of why is it normal then? Because everyone is doing it? There're many things that we find it normal once everyone started doing. Well, why must we do what others have done? Isn't it too boring...

Well the way I see it, it's better left unsaid. I don't know why, but perhaps that feeling might ultimately change be it you're together or not in the end. But being best friends, we can chat abt everything, say abt anything...without any restriction/limit that a boy/girl friend has. Well perhaps someday you realised that you can reach that "no limit" stage even being boy/girlfriends, then you might be ready then.

Sometimes I wondered what's so bad abt being best friends and not boy/girl friends? Well at least you can talk about almost anything. You want to be together with him/her, u say? Well perhaps best friends can be together even longer than boy/girlfriends.

But if I were the one involved, I know I'll ultimately say it too, if I really felt that strong connection between us. Which I've failed once and afraid to try again. Perhaps that time I wasn't really best friends with her, and so I wanted more, but ended up getting even lesser.

Perhaps saying it meant alot to me coz I've no experience but I know that it will not be the same...it's either best friends, boy/girlfriends, or just friends. Wouldn't it be more miserable being just friends? But if u succeed, will u really become more closer than best friends? Thats what I do not know but think it will not. Many things will ltr become unable to share with each others. Even thoughts...

Well I hereby wish everyone happy telling the person you like and hope it's a happy ending, so that you can counter whatever I've said...I really don't mind. What I said isn't true for all, perhaps just for me, a wierdo trying to think everything through...

Thanks.
~Kaze

New yr, new start, but things still take the form of the past...

long time nv blog...just didn't feel like doing so. Anyway, I'm really starting to forget abt it...and i guess it's normal...Listening to this song on my blog brings back some memories...bad ones of coz.

I'll find a way? It's just crap...not true at all. Well I guess I won't think abt all these for awhile...it's easy actually, just simply keeping urself occupied...

Well some times I think I'm just thinking of too much things that's way too off the main road. Thinking of the impossible...haha...Perhaps life was impossible from the start and it still is. So no need for complaining I guess...everyone gets a life...it's fair. That's why I like to keep things to myself...just me knowing it is enough.

So you ask why am I writing this then? Well I would say I'm just explaining life to my little computer...and hope it understands how lucky it is...

Thanks.
~Kaze

What a day...

Today is 30th September 2006, my birthday. But I'm having all the time I need to type this...

What a boring day today is...first time celebrated my birthday in the morning...or rather...it's just a "cutting-cake" and "photo-taking" session... Now the house is left with my father, who's sleeping, and then it's me...

I really don't want today to end just like this...but I guess it can't be help...everyone is busy...

Sigh...perhaps this is just another day...there are ppl who wished me happy birthday...and asked me to enjoy...but I certainly am not enjoying today... Well at least they remember...even though "you" seems to have forgotten...

Sigh...this is no doubt the worst birthday I've ever had...

Thanks
~Kaze

One week passes...

One week had passed and I never really did anything...I'm worried that I will not be able to make it for the review...even though it's just a review and it doesn't give any grade. Sigh...and everytime I felt that it was impossible...you said something that made me confuse...I really want to know what you're thinking. I kept telling myself I'll just concentrate on my work, but yet I'm not. I just have to switch on my computer to check if you're online. I so useless, such a failure. Sigh...I wanted to get up at 7am but instead, I got up on 9am. I'm simply so useless. I just feel like giving up everything...just slack until I die...I just can't achieve what I want. What do I really want? I don't know actually.

Thanks.
~Kaze

And I thought I got over it...

Today(9/9/06) is a day which brought back lots of memories and thoughts...I started the day sleeping till I got the sms asking me out and so I went...I looked forward to meeting you...during the whole time we spent together, I realised I havent really got over u. It's like it bring back some bits and pieces of memories and hope...but remembering what you said stopped me from thinking any further. Though we're not alone... I am kinda glad that we aren't...coz I wouldn't know what to say or talk about. I really wanted to stayed a little longer and as long as possible...even though I know the chances are slim. Sigh... Anyway, I went to meet wei qi after that to go airport for dinner...which reminds me of the first time I went there for dinner with my group of friends which seldom had the chance to meet nowadays...We wanted to go home but on the way back, we thought of going back to Outback restaurant to find our ex-manager Alex. Upon reaching there, it's like a force is pushing me to walk faster to see all the staff I know there...though only few were still working. Seeing each and everyone brought back lots of memories about them...be it happy or sad. But happy times always end faster and soon we had to go home...I really missed working there...But I know it will never be the same even if I go back to work. Sigh...and I'm now writing this in the middle of the night...while everyone is sleeping. I guess I'm one who cannot easily forget things...Listening to those sad music made me even sadder...

Sigh...things are always not how I wanted them to be...why am I such an emotional creature? And things that I like are so damn different with people...made me thinks that I'm such a wierdo...

"Why do I sigh, why don't I try to forget...It must have been that something lovers call faith, kept me saying I had to wait..."

Thanks
~Kaze

An unexpected day...

Yesterday, I was suppose to go to orchard to adjust my glasses alone right after my lecture at 11am...While I was going out of school, wei qi called and asked for help on photoshop...I went to canteen to look for him, thinking that he can accompany me to Orchard after handing in his work at 1pm...However, things didn't turn out quite as I expected. He and his classmates were waiting outside the room they're suppose to meet their teacher, at around 1pm...instead of going to get their work printed out. They were just standing there for about 1 hour until the teacher arrive at 2pm. I waited outside that room...along the corridor, until he came out and ask me to wait at the canteen coz his lecturer is giving a "speech". I walked to the canteen, bought some snacks...and sat down to wait for him...saw another friend, and she waited with me for a while...but she has her own friends too and I know she wanted to go to them. It was not long until he called and told me to wait for him until 4pm when he finally can hand in the project because his lecturer had another class till 4pm. I was so damn angry...and disappointed. I finished the food, washed up, turned and walk my way to take a bus...feeling so...pissed. Why? I just wasted 4 hours without anything done. I proceed to adjust my glasses...I stayed in that store for quite some time until they finally decided to order a new frame for me coz that old one was beyond what they could do...no matter how they adjust, there's still a slight unbalance. I went one level up heeren and saw my sis at Action City...working there. We talked a while and I proceed to cineleisure to see what movies they're showing...coz I asked wei qi if he wants to watch a movie earlier. I had a movie in mind that I wanted to watch, but he didn't want to. I called to tell him and he said okok he'll come down. I went back to Heeren HMV to walk around while waiting for him. He then sms me if his friends could join us. Of coz I said Anything...and wanted him to be faster. But he only replied when I'd walked a few rounds around HMV and was at the entrance...just to say he's already on bus le la. He called a while later asking me to go back to cineleisure to look for him and his friends at Yoshinoya, which is not one of my prefered restaurant to dine in. I ate anyway...coz I didn't actually fill my stomach with food coz he asked to have lunch together while in school. I was already quite unhappy...not to mention his friend suggested to watch "Frostbite", a german vampire movie which I didn't like either. Everyone agreed and so did I. I went into the cinema, thinking that perhaps this show could be nice. But it's actually just a piece of junk. It was scary...it wasn't creepy...it was ridiculously lame and funny instead...I was like, "what the f**k is this show?" The worst thing is it doesn't have a proper ending...and it was very low budget...Omg I just wasted $9.50. We didn't went home straight after that...they went to had roti prata...which was a good thing I didn't eat. They said it tasted like chewing gum. I'm not sure abt the rest, but I kinda dislike one of his friends. He acted like the prata was non-edible...just becoz the wet curry plate was above his prata...and he had to fold the prata and "dry it" by pressing on it. And while he was doing that, he just kept scolding vulgar and kept on..."tsk, tsk..." and said he really dun feel like eating...the curry is cold. I just can't stand it...and before that he was talking bad about me and wei qi...thinking that I didn't heard him just because I was talking to wei qi behind. I just couldn't stand him, though I just kept quiet.

And there it is...One whole day of unexpected, unwanted, unhappy incidents. I didn't reach home on the time expected, I wasted HOURS doing nth, I ate something I didn't like, I watched a movie I didn't want to. I didn't get my glasses, I didn't watch the movie I wanted to watch, I didn't get to eat the food I wanted to, and I was with someone who I can't stand...Sigh, this is indeed the worst day I've had since that day...

Thanks
~Kaze

Simply letting it be...

I felt so much "lighter" after I thought about it and just let it be...Now I can finally concentrate on my work...not like I can stop myself from daydreaming though. I'm really wasting my time man. My friends can't complete their homework because they're playing games...but I just simply sit down, walk around without doing anything...Haha...stupid you might say...but that's just me...I loved that feeling of just simply doing nothing but had a lot in my mind...That's why I sometimes enjoy going out alone...just pure walking and looking...But I eventually got bad breath(hmmm, is this how u spell it?) due to my mouth not opening for the whole day...haha. Anyway, school work is piling up and I'm trying to clear them one by one, but everytime I want to clear the old ones, new ones came in and I had to finish them first...thus, the old ones are always left untouched...Come to think of it, I don't really know how blogs work. I only know how to get to one blog by putting in the link and click that greenish looking "GO" button on my internet explorer...haha. But anyway, it's just a place for me to type out everything I'm feeling at that moment and perhaps one day when I look back, I might even think that it's stupid...but it's ok...because everyone has a stupid side...so do I. :P

Thanks.
~Kaze (lots of works to do...=.=")

Today, it ends?

Today, just a few hours ago...It seems like it's ended. I finally know how you feel all along...Didn't expect I'd had the chance to know...coz it's been quite some time since we talked. But after knowing it...I guess it'll be quite long till we talk again. So...the answer was I wasn't your type...Sigh, I guess I knew it all along, I just didn't want to accept that fact. Knowing you for that amount of time, listening to what you said all the time, I guess I should've knew I wasn't your type. Sigh, at least now I know the answer and am glad you've finally got over that guy. Really hope you will find your special one soon since you wanted it so much now...Yes, I'm sad, really sad...perhaps the saddest day I've had since I first told you I like you. It's painful and it hurts so much...but I know I'll get over it one day...just like you did with him. Hope we're still friends and can talk like before. If I were to choose now, I wouldn't have told you...perhaps it's sweeter that way, just secretly liking you. But I didn't regret telling you either, if you were to ask me. I guess it's the end of my confusion but well, it isn't the end of the world. I'll just concentrate on my work for now...perhaps it's the best way to forget this...painful feeling...Thanks for giving me this long and sweet moment......I'll never forget it. :|

I'm a saddist...what can I say?

True that I'm a saddist coz I'm starting to lose all my optimistism...I can't help but think of everything in the negative way nowadays. I'm starting to lose hope and also giving up perhaps. I know it's impossible...we haven't talked for who knows, how long...I really do miss you but I'm starting to realise perhaps you don't like me from the very beginning...I really wish you would just msg me anything, like you used to...I'll reply to anything....as I always do, but I know even if you msg me the very minute now, it's just as a friend...and you probably got no one else to talk to...sigh...looking at many people around me, all found their special one...I just feel more sad...perhaps it's envy...But since it's impossible...I should just concentrate on my work right now...those stupid homeworks...which I dun even know how they help...My passion towards graphic design is starting to diminish...I've started school for 4 weeks and I've only learnt a few drawing skills in only one of the lesson every week...This sucks...feel cheated...this school isn't that good afterall...sigh...Went to cut my hair the other day...wanted to look better coz I'm losing confidence on myself...I'm also thinking of making a new pair of spectacles to make me look more lively...went passed that spectacles shop just now, after my classmates went home one by one. I didn't went in. I know it's not necessary. I walked along Orchard road alone for perhaps an hour plus...just looking at buildings and people...and went to HMV to look at some CDs and Action city for some designer products. I just wished that I wasn't alone...just wished that you were beside me...I'm very tired...these few days...so much work...so much thinking...think of you especially...

I'm not good enough...I know, I'll try to be better.........

~Kaze

Give up?

For the past few nights I've been unable to have a good sleep...once again. I kept thinking about things on a neutral point of view. Asking myself is what you said really giving me hope or you're just saying it. I asked myself, if you really do like me, you wouldn't have said this or that. I finally come up with a conclusion...it's just one sided...I thinked too much. I really getting tired...tired of waiting...we haven't been talking for a few days...and I really do miss you...but perhaps it's normal...I think I should stop doing things, trying to create opportunities...or perhaps trying to make myself feel not so "hopeless". I'm really tired...perhaps it's better to let you like me and not make you like me. You could've just rejected me...why did u said dunno but you dun want it now. And the things you said, am i really that not good enough. It really makes me think that it's impossible and want to give up. I think I should...and back to the time before all these happened. Perhaps I would be happier by secretly liking you. My vision suddenly went blurred while I'm typing this...eyes filled with water...a very very sad heart as I'm feeling now. This is the first time I'm feeling like this in my whole life...and it's really painful. I don't know why I'm crying, perhaps my heart has weaken, easily feel sad and scared...I'm weak.........too weak...

Sigh...I'm feeling very tired now...hope I can get a good sleep tonight.........

The path to your heart...

I'm so glad I'm able to see you again...and am really happy it lasted for so long. I really don't want the day to end so soon, that's why i suggested for a movie...But today I feel so...I don't know how to explain but thinking abt it makes my heart feel "sour". Why can't I be jealous? you said if boys made comments abt your friend, you'll just follow and won't be jealous. Yes that might be true, but question is, do you like the guy who made that comment? I'm so sad that our conversation ended right there. What da hell is wrong with me...? What da F**K is wrong with me...? Tell me, which part of me isn't good enough...? When I jokingly said that I want to die and dissappear from your life, I'm actually feeling that way. I've find the way to see you again...but I need to find the way to your heart and sees where it really lies.

Perhaps I should stop thinking of what you think because it's causing even more misunderstanding...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll wait for you, I will, until I know for sure what your heart says...

Hope...and...

I guess I'm starting to realise what's going on...you still can't let him go. You keep telling me u miss him when u're drunk. I don't wanna see you being so unhappy, and tired every single day... Although you didn't actually said who u miss but I know. But there's nothing I can do...I don't even know who he is. However, as I said I won't ask you to stop thinking coz I know it's impossible...But I really wish to help, if there's any way...I'm trying my best to keep our conversation as lively as possible but I guess I still got alot to learn. I really wish to go out with you again...am so glad you asked. Guess there's still hope.

Two days ago, I was aboard a train with my friends and saw this guy sleeping like nobody business...but it was funny, trust me. The people in that particular carriage was laughing like mad, and wierd thing is, he still doesn't know. Esther can't help it but took a few little videos of him...haha...I took one too. And I actually spent the night joining and editing and put in Mozart music for babies as the background music. I got to apologize but I just had to put it on youtube to share the fun...haha. The link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5riefufzIR8 or you can search for "asleep kaze" or "asleep on train." The title is "Asleep..." But pls do not report, I don't wanna get sued...HAHA.

Today, I woke up early in the morning to watch my newest DVD addition : Inside Man . As usual, I didn't regret buying it. It's a brilliant smart show that put you thinking a little. However, there're some things I don't really understand...like the term "Nazis". So I search on the internet and found out that Nazi is actually an abbreviation for National Socialist Political Party led by hitler...WOW. Haha. Anyway it's a nice show, everyone should watch it. And I loved the music at the start and end of the show...Such a wonderful match...haha "Chaiyya Chaiyya" from bollywood de...surprised? Yeah it's an indian song but it matches and even made the opening of the show one of the best I've seen. I'm now listening to it while typing this...lol I actually downloaded it.

After I watched the show, I rushed to school for my orientation and received my timetable finally after a two hour talk. I can't say I'm unhappy with my time-table but I ain't very happy with it either. A packed monday with 4 hours worth of break in total...What da fuck am I gonna do in that 4 hours? well a tuesday with only 1 to 3pm lesson is good but why must it be in the middle of the day? A wednesday and thursday with only two session on each day is fine...But the best day is no doubt friday, lesson starts at 9, ends at 10, one hour break and go auditorium for a one hour lecture from 11 to 12 noon. Afterwhich, I'm free to go...haha, but that also makes me think if I wanna start working again, on friday sat. Perhaps it's god's will that I have to work and that's why I was given that kind of schedule for friday...haha...hey, wait a min, when did I become a christian? OMG, must be the medicine...lol...just kidding.

Haizzz, I'm so sian and tired too, just like "you"...but who do I tell that to...?

Wish to forget, but wish to continue.

I'm writing this, assuming that it's still tuesday. Sigh, yesterday I went out with Esther and Wei qi, initially to make our EZ-link card...but let's just say it didn't went so smoothly. So we continue our shopping, or esther's at orchard. We had long john silver for lunch and esther suggested to take neo prints, which me and wei qi isn't very keen of. For me is becoz of money and i seldom take also. Anyway, we went ahead and took with two different machines and we've had fun...well perhaps not wei qi. I'm going out everyday trying to forget as much as possible about what happened last week. I did forget about it when I'm outside, but once in a while i check back on my phone to see if there's any messages. However, when i reach home, I'll rush to switch on my computer looking for your email to be online on my msn. When I'm lying on bed, I kept thinking...about many things...until I can finally fall asleep. I hope to forget because it's very painful to keep thinking whenever I'm awake. But i wish to continue thinking and not forget all about you. I don't know what should I do. But you seems to know...and we seems to talk lesser than before. Why is this happening? Was it a bad decision to tell you all that? I just thought I should let you know. Well perhaps I was wrong. I just wished everything had went on smoothly...

Why?

Why must you give me bits and pieces of hope but then shattered them one by one? Perhaps I haven't know you enough... Do you even notice how those little words you said had hurt me so deeply? Why? I only wanted to ask you out...

Or have I mistaken everything from the start? You actually weren't hinting anything at all...? I can't help but keep thinking that way even though i don't want to...I really don't want it to end like this...cause it's only just beginning. I really want to think that you do feel the same way. I really do. But you're not letting me...

I'm really not being myself these few days, the optimism me seems to be gone...or perhaps this is the true me?

I really wish to know how you feel...like I've told you...I really do, But why aren't you answering...even if the answer is no, why can't you give an answer? It just makes me think that there's still hope. And I know i may not talk alot But why can't you give me a chance. I'll talk more...you don't expect me to act like you're just another friend, do you?

It's strange, the more I want you to talk to me, the more I'm afraid you will say something that makes me even more disappointed...I really wish I could get a glance at your diary to see if there's even any slightest things mentioned about me...

I'm so sadded...hurt, and disappointed...

What exactly is happening?

Just yesterday, I've said all those things to you, but why can you pretend like nothing happen? Once again you didn't gave me an answer when i asked again. You said you don't want now, then stop saying things that will make me mistaken...I'm so confused...what exactly do you want me to do? Don't pretend like nothing happen but yet kept saying things like you're hinting something...I'm just so not good at playing mind games... Today you asked me why i woke up so early, but in fact i can't really sleep...I lied on the bed for more than 3 hours before i can really fall asleep...I just can't help but kept thinking of what you'll be thinking after what I've said...

Then when I'm awake, I know I had to go out and take a walk in order to stop thinking about it. And i find a friend of mine and went out...thinking that you might never contact me anytime soon. But yet you messaged me like nothing really happened...but that message made me think that you're hinting something by calling me that...and in the following few message after that, you said you want " " when I asked you what you want...which made me even more confused. I'm so lost.........

Should I continue or forget about you...?
I'll find a way...to see you again......

Sigh...maybe I should start writing diary...like you do...cause I really don't want anyone to read this......

argghhhhhh!!!!!!! It's just so complicated...

I'm so lost......

Today, I said something to someone i never thought i would ever had the courage to said it...But I at lost after seeing the reaction...or rather I've never really thought what the reaction will be...I really don't know what to do now...What should I do next? Is that a yes or a no? What exactly is "anything"? I'm blasting the speaker off my com right now...listening to a song named "I'll find a way"...I really hope I'll find the way......
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even though there's no one at home, I really don't wish to shout it out, perhaps on my blog is fine...

I'm so lost......but pls, if there's really anyone reading this...don't ask...I rather you pretend nothing happened...and you've read nothing...Coz I really don't want to say it. I hate people who always ask "are you in love?, you like who...etc" just because they see this type of things...Don't you think people will tell you when they want to and not when they're prompt to????? For heaven sake if you're those kind of people, GET LOST! My blog doesn't require you, or rather doesn't require anyone to read...It's just for myself!! Damn you!

~I missed the good old days...but I look forward to my everchangable future...

Thanks.

~Kaze

Finally some music......

Finally added some music to my blog...
yea...in case you're wondering, this is the type of songs i listen to...haha. Anyway, must wait for it to load for a short while......Sigh, got nth to do, so wierd, i'm not even tired...it's already 5.35 am when I'm typing this...sigh...thinking of lots of things...I wonder who reads my blog...i wonder what is my future like...i wonder if I'll be alone for the rest of my life...i wonder if anyone likes me...i wonder at wad age will i die...i wonder how everyone i've knew since i was a baby is doing now...i wonder if they'll be more successful than me...i wonder if i chose the right path...i wonder what i'll do if i got lots of money...i wonder what you think of me...i wonder lots of things...well, you might be wondering when am i gonna stop...haha......

Anyway, this is a photo of my group of friends...haha...so few...i find this photo quite nice...so i edited it, gave it a little contrast...and vuola...i really love it. In case you don't really know me...I'm the one at the bottom right......

Thanks

~Kaze

Shooting star...

That day, at the small class gathering, as usual, i walked behind the group, while they're busy talking...Am I really missing something, not mixing with the group like always...? Well, perhaps not, guess what i saw when i look into the sky...a shooting star...Oh my god, my first time seeing a shooting star...well it's like nth u've seen on tv for sure, it's not like a comet or wad. It's just a fast moving star...that's all. Well I'm so eager to tell my classmates that i forgot to make a wish...I did regret for a moment back there...but then again, who proves that wish made upon seeing a shooting star will definitely come true? Haha...perhaps it's just a "rumour has it..." but no harm trying eh. Sigh...if you really saw a shooting star and had to make a wish within that 1 second, what will it be? I don't know either, but perhaps I'll wish for that "someone" to appear bah...lol...School's starting in one month plus time...and I'm starting work today...after resting for two weeks...but I plan to tell my manager ltr that i'll be quitting in three weeks time, which is 9 July...hope he approves...or rather...he had no choice, haha, he said must give two weeks notice and i gave three weeks notice, I'm quitting for sure...until I know for sure that i can cope with my school work......sigh...What is life? Life is what you want it to be......

free......as a bird......

~Kaze

Wasting time?

Even as I'm working now 6 days a week, and earning money, i feel like I'm missing something and wasting my time. Working everyday, doing the same thing everyday, and tiring myself everyday, what's the point, it used to be keeping myself occupied, but now i guess it's for the money, coz i got lots of things i want to buy. LCD tv with dvd player built-in, A new phone(probably samsung z710), Laptop(which i don't even know if i wanna buy an imac or normal windows...). But i know i can only buy one of the three. Do I really need a tv inside my room, watching my own dvd and playing my games all inside my room? or do I need a new phone that I'm probably just envy of others having a better phone. But mine isn't that bad, samsung e720, It's only been one year since its release and it has a 1 mega camera and mp3 which i can't listen now due to my earphone or something spoilt, which i'm not too sure abt, but can't listen with earphones. Or do I need an imac laptop for my school work in the future after i start school in july? or even if i need a laptop, shld i buy a difficult to use and expensive imac but ideal for doing my grpahic work, or a normal cheaper windows laptop which is more user-friendly but vunerable to virus? But do I really need all those? I only hav 1000 left in my atm acc. It's only enough for either phone or tv now. still far away from laptop, and in the following days i still need to withdraw some money to use...Should i just quit my job and enjoy chilling out with friends before school start or should i keep working like a cow and earn that 600++ a month? I dun wanna miss the fun, coz i know after i start school there'll be stress and not much time for fun and after which i will go for national service and work after that...what's the fun? And I'm currently sick but have to go to work later, why? coz I've still not decided. I want to get a one week break next week, hope it'll be approved. I'm really tired of working so damn hard, and earn that mere 600++ a month...I wanna wake up late, go out enjoy, come home early, sleep early...and not like now...waking up so early in the morning to get to work until 12++ in the night and reach home after that just to sleep and repeat the cycle the second day..."what's the point? I wonder..."